When the Orange Ninja Sings
by Tzigane-Akiko
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if Naruto . . . SANG? gasps from collective audience


**DISCLAIMER:**

_Sasuke: . . . . . . . . . . keh (walks away)_

_Xia: Hey! You were supposed to do the disclaimer!_

_Sakura: Sasuke-kun, come back! (runs after Sasuke)_

_Xia: But Sakura! Now who'll do my disclaimer?_

_Neji: (starts to walk past, sees Xia, stops for a moment, then shrugs and walks on)_

_Ino: (runs after Sakura, who is running after Sasuke) Sasuke is mine, Forehead Sakura!_

_Gaara: (attempts to walk past, but Xia grabs the gourd on his back)_

_Xia: Gaaaaaaarrrrrraaaaaa . . . . will you do my disclaimer, please???_

_Gaara: (stares at Xia, who is on knees and begging) Why don't you do it yourself? Oh well. Xia doesn't own Naruto. (turns back to Xia) Now will you let go, or do I need to use the Sand on you?_

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"BOOOOOOOOOOORING!"

Sakura's eye twitched.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!"

Sasuke opened his right eye for glaring purposes. If Naruto-baka says 'boring' one more time, so help me I will . . .

**"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!! BORING BORING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!"** Naruot whined again.

Sasuke and Sakura jumped up from their stools in the ramen bar, one strangling the blonde and the other stretching his face to abnormal limits. "If you say another word about how boring this is ONE MORE #$# time, we will seriously kill you!!!"

"Waah! Okay, okay, I'll stop!" Naruto grumbled once they'd let go. "But I wouldn't be so bored if Kakashi-sensei would just show up already!"

"Well find something to do then." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Naruto looked around sullenly for anything of mild interest. His eye caught . . . the microphone for a singer. Slowly, his trademark grin spread across his face.

Sakura blinked when Naruto stood. "Naruto? Where are you going?" She watched him walk over to the wall, thinking he saw someone he recognized. Shrugging, she turned back to eating and trying to impress Sasuke. Sasuke merely continued to ignore her.

Suddenly, Naruto's voice filled the ramen bar. Sakura whipped around to see Naruto beaming, microphone in hand. Sasuke groaned.

"This is a . . . uh, ToastMaster 4-Slice Concert Model!" Naruto said the first molecule of imagination sparked when he saw the toaster on the bar. ". . . I like the, uh, contrary down-position a little better, acoustically, you've probably read the article in Toaster Player . . ." This recruited a couple laughes, and surprisingly no glares (minus those from Sakura and Sasuke).

The laughes stretched Naruto's grin even wider, and he snatched the toaster away. Grabbing two large ladles, he started drumming on the toaster and . . . chanting something.

"Oh great. Here it comes." Sasuke sighed.

_"All around the country, coast to coast_

_People always say, what do you like most?_

_I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast_

_I always tell 'em I like toast" _

_"YEAH, TOAST!" _Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs. People in the ramen bar cracked up, so he repeated himself for the fun of it.

_"YEAH, TOAST!" _This inspired more laughs, so he went on.

_"I get up in the morning about 6 A-Am!_

_Have a little jelly, have a little jam_

_Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot_

_Push down the lever and the wire gets hot"_

_"I get toast!"_

_"YEAH, TOAST!" _Here, he ran out of inspiration. So, he did the first thing that came to mind . . . imitate a zombie!

_"NYAHN NRUGHHH!"_

_"Now there's no secret to toasting perfection_

_There's a dial on the side where you make your selection_

_Push to the dark, to the light and then_

_If it pops too soon, press down again"_

_"Make toast!"_

_"YEAH, TOAST!"_

_"UNNGH NRUGUGH!" _His previous zombie-talk was widely appreciated, as many people were holding their sides with laughter. Thus, he reused it.

_"When the first caveman drove in from the dregs_

_Didn't know what would go with the bacon and the eggs_

_Musta been a genius, got it in his head_

_Plug the toaster in the wall, buy a bag of bread"_

_"Make toast!"_

_"YEAH, TOAST!"_

_"NRUGH URUGNHHH!"_

_"Oh, oui monsieur bonjour croquette_

_Au crossaint de cheriě convert_

_Moire chevel yea Eiffel Tower_

_Oh, in my room I got bon soir!" _He had no idea of what he was saying, but mangling french is always funny! Time to drop the bomb . . .

_"French toast!"_

_"FRENCH TOAST!"_

_"In . . . Chicago or where the heck I am right now . . ." _Sakura maintained a straight face with difficulty, but . . . was that a smile on Sasuke's face?

Naruto paused, out of inspiration. So, time for comedic genius . . . repeating yourself works mostly . . .

_"YEAH, TOAST!"_

_"HARUNNG NRGGH!"_

_"Toast."_ Naruto ended with his usual thumb's up and an enthusaistic "BELIEVE IT!"

"Naruto, you idiot! I'm so embarrased to be seen with you!" Sakura stormed up and whammed him upside the head.

Everyone else simply laughed harder. When Kakashi finally arrived (late, of course), he raised an eyebrow to see the chef laughing so hard he was pouring noodles onto the table instead of the bowl, customers clinging to the seats to stop from falling off with their own laughter, a very amused-looking Sasuke and a VERY angry Sakura beating up a VERY confused Naruto.

Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. Kakashi's look was too funny, and the whole scene made funnier. He cracked up, and fell off the stool he was previously perched on.


End file.
